It was the day when I was diagnosed with Chronic Myeloid Leukemia (CML). February 17, 2021, is a date that is imprinted on my mind. It was not only a diagnosis but seemed a total, abrupt end to all I had intended in my life.
Anyone who has been there knows what it is like. Cancer is a crippler, and the mess is complete. Everything felt useless. I didn’t know what to do next. Life was no longer full, and I started thinking of what was the meaning of the fight about anything when the disease would eventually end it all. The beginning of the most significant, the hardest struggle of my life, but it proved to be the most significant one.
Understanding the Enemy: CML and Imatinib
I was diagnosed with Chronic Myeloid Leukemia (CML). It makes the body produce excess white blood cells to the level of crowding out the healthy cells that we require. Although CML is a long-term chronic illness, the primary weapon against it is a targeted therapy drug.
The primary medicine I was prescribed was Imatinib. This drug is a lifesaver, but it works by blocking the protein that allows CML cells to grow out of control. Being such a powerful tool, it comes with a significant price in the form of harsh side effects. The most common ones I dealt with were brutal and included:
- Severe nausea and upset stomach.
- Diarrhea.
- Blurred vision.
- Muscle Cramps.
- Fatigue
- mood changes
- bloody nose
- sore throat
- Sweating
- Headache
- trouble sleeping
- joint pain
These were the side effects that I have dealt with; some of them have vanished, but some still exist. Dealing with these side effects, alongside the diagnosis itself, instantly doubled the size of the fight ahead.
The Immediate Physical and Mental Cost
The fight started with an immediate, crushing physical toll. I was immediately put on a heavy daily treatment plan, including four tablets of Imatinib. Taking 15 different medicines every day is a shock to the system, mentally and physically.
The pressure on my body was intense. I tried taking medicine like Alprazolam just to get good sleep, but the side effects were often even worse. The pain in my body was 24/7 at the start. It was a constant, tiring presence. This emotional blow, which was accompanied by the severe side effects, left the initial months a shred of struggle. This new normal required several months before my body accepted it and was able to adapt to it.
But the human body is an amazing machine. Day by day, it started to adapt. The constant pain eased slightly, the blurred thoughts cleared up, and I started to see a little better. While cancer feels like absolute garbage, I learned right then that the correct mindset is the only way to cope.
The First Great Lesson: Choose to Fight
It is in the first few weeks of pain and confusion that I made this realization that changed everything. I evaluated my case and reasoned: in case my time has really come, the case would be far worse. But I was still breathing. I was still here. That meant I had more to do.
This shift in thinking is the first and most important lesson I want to share: Don’t fear the problem. A negative mindset is the real enemy because it damages your ability to act. Your thoughts are connected to your body. If you think negative thoughts, your body acts that way. But you have a choice. Why not choose positive thinking? Thinking positively does not cure the illness but makes your immune system stronger, enables you to cope with the pain, and, above all, keeps you focused on the fact that you are alive.
We are responsible for ourselves. No parent, family member, or friend can go through this struggle for you. They can help you to some extent, but in the end, we have to do it ourselves. We must start today. If I can survive and thrive with CML, you can handle the struggles in front of you.
The Power of Being Proactive
The positive way of thinking does not only consist of smiling but also involves being proactive. Thinking proactively refers to the fact that you are continually striving to find the correct next step, not merely responding to unfortunate news. Such an attitude results in becoming proactive. That change of mind and body to the positive is a great help in combating an illness like CML.
When you think positively, your body reacts well, hence your immune system is reinforced. Your thoughts are actually related to the health of your body. Negative thoughts harm your behavior and soul. You have an option to choose negative or positive, but you still have to choose positive. It empowers you to lead a good life and struggle.
Why We Must Keep Fighting
You might read this and ask: Why fight when the struggle is so massive? I learned the answer in those first few months, lying in pain, taking those 15 pills a day. We keep fighting because we are stronger than we realize.
To every individual who is diagnosed with cancer: you are not weak. Actually, you are far stronger than a normal human being since you have engaged in a battle, which most people would not even imagine. When you are informed that you have cancer, you become tougher. You learn to survive, to adjust, and to live. That is why we have cancer, since we are strong enough to endure it and, ultimately, to conquer it.
We continue struggling to have an opportunity to make a difference. When you are still breathing, then your time has not yet come. Work had to be done, there was love to be given, and there was a community to serve. It is the final gasoline to the fight.
Every single time you choose to get up despite the pain, you are proving cancer wrong. You are strengthening your mind. Days flew by, and every day was improving me. I also got to know that pain is not a stop sign but a signal. I began accepting the pain, and day in and day out, the pain had started to fade. I understand what pills to use when the bad days come, but I also know that my own grit is my best medicine. Follow me on LinkedIn for more daily updates!
It should always be in mind that your well-being is your responsibility. Nobody should bear this burden all. We are survivors. We are stronger. We will defeat this one day.