It did not take me four years to work as a paralegal before I stepped into a law school classroom. It was not only the years of filling papers or picking up coffee. They were my real education. I saw dozens of attorneys go through our doors. Others were brilliant legal thinkers who could recall the obscure statutes. Some were ordinary students with barely passed the bar exam.
However, this is what I have observed. The most successful lawyers did not necessarily show themselves to be the smartest.
This dynamic is even more evident to me since I have been working as a practicing attorney for one year. I witness lawyers who know the laws forwards and backwards and who fail to retain clients due to their inability to talk. I also witness lawyers who might have to look up a case or two, but have a queue of clients waiting at the door.
The difference is not IQ. It is not what they studied at school. The distinction is found in soft skills.
These are the individual qualities that define our interaction with other people. These are skills that are relegated in the legal field. Our area of focus is logic, reasoning, and case law. We lose sight of the fact that law is essentially a people business.
These are human skills that you must master to become a great lawyer as opposed to being a good one. We shall consider the most important ones.
1. Emotional Intelligence Skill: The Art of Reading the Room
It may seem to you that law consists of facts. Facts do not exist in a vacuum. People present them, argue against them, and make decisions.
Emotional intelligence: This is the skill of being able to recognize your own feelings and the feelings of others. It is what enables you to read the room.
One such case I recall was when I worked as a paralegal. It was a settlement negotiation. The opposing attorney was offensive. He was screaming, knocking the table, and making extravagant demands. My boss sat there calmly. She did not yell back. She did not get angry.
Later, she told me what she saw. She said, “He wasn’t angry at us. He was horrified of losing his client. He was performing for them.”
She was not fooled because she knew his feelings. She remained composed and presented an option that would make him appear good to his client and still secure us what we wanted. This is emotional intelligence.
How to use this skill
Words are not the only thing that you should listen to. Look at body language. Listen to the tone of voice.
When a judge sounds like he/she is irritated, then do not proceed pushing your point. In case a client appears disoriented yet says that he/she is okay, interrupt and inquire.
Big attorneys know the atmosphere at a trial court before anyone else. The way the jury is reacting makes them change their approach. They do not merely adhere to the script. They react to the human beings before them.
2. Active Listening: Hearing What Isn’t Said
They say there is a joke among lawyers that they love the sound of their own voices. Sadly, it is often true. We are trained to argue. We are trained to speak. We are hardly taught to listen.
The most important tool you will have in managing the relationships with the clients is listening.
I once attended a meeting with a senior partner where I was present at a client intake meeting. The client was a business owner and was being sued. He was blabbing on the history of his company, his family, and his stresses. An honest lawyer would have stopped him and requested him to provide the pertinent facts.
The partner did not do that. He leaned in. He nodded. He allowed the client to speak for twenty minutes without interruption.
At the conclusion of it, the client was relaxed. He had total trust in the partner. And in that rambling story, the partner had discovered three important pieces of evidence that ultimately made the case.
The difference between hearing and listening
Hearing is passive. Listening is active.
Whenever you are actively listening, you are not minding what you are going to say next. All your attention is on the other.
This should be an attempt, next time you have a meeting. Do not interrupt. Allow the client to complete his/her thought. Then, paraphrase what they have said. Bring up things such as, It seems to me that you worry the most about the reputation of your business.
This proves that you had grasped them. It also makes the client feel justified. A client whom you listen to is a client whom you retain.
3. Adaptability: Rolling With the Punches
We are taught to prepare in law school. We write outlines. We draft motions. We make scripts to be cross-examined.
However, in the real world, everything does not always work out.
The witness reverses the testimony. One of the important pieces of evidence was ruled out by a judge. An international phenomenon changes the whole juridical market.
This was the lesson that I got the hard way in my first month as an attorney. I was going to have an ideal hearing. I had my arguments memorized. Then the judge put a question to which I had not anticipated.
I froze. I attempted to impose my ready answer on his question. It did not work. The judge became irritated, and I lost my credibility.
A great lawyer is adaptable. Their plan exists, yet they are ready to sacrifice it in case of any change in the situation.
Why rigid lawyers fail
The legal field changes fast. New technologies emerge. New laws are passed. Clients change their minds.
If you are rigid, you will snap. You will bend so long as you are flexible.
This does not imply that you should not be unprepared. It implies that you must be ready to be chaotic. You have to be at ease with unpredictability. In case something goes wrong, do not panic. Take a breath. Assess the new situation. Then, pivot.
Just imagine it as a quarterback in football. You can call a play; however, the defense changes, and then you must change the play at the scrimmage line. You cannot simply run the play and wish to be lucky.
4. Clear Communication: The “Grandma Test”
We spend three years in law school learning a new language. We learn words like “res judicata,” “tort,” and “indemnification.”
The problem is that our clients do not speak this language.
One of the biggest complaints clients have about lawyers is that they do not understand what is going on. They get long emails full of legal jargon. They get contracts they cannot read.
Good lawyers want to sound smart. Great lawyers want to be understood.
I have a simple rule I use. I call it the “Grandma Test.” If I cannot explain a legal concept to my grandmother, then I do not understand it well enough.
Keep it simple
You do not have to use enormous words to demonstrate that you are a lawyer. Your degree does that for you.
Short sentences should be used when you are writing an email to a client. Avoid passive voice. Get straight to the point.
Rather than saying: Please be advised that the court has decided on the motion brought by the opposing party, which, in effect, amounts to a refusal of the motion.
Say: The other side has been denied by the court. This is good news for us.”
See the difference? The second version is clear. It is direct. It informs the client precisely what they should know.
This applies to judges, too. Judges are busy. They are not in the mood to read a twenty-page brief that could have been five pages. They value lawyers who are able to cut to the chase.
5. Time Management: Prioritizing What Matters
I was a young lawyer, and I felt that I was drowning. There was never enough time to answer more emails, more documents to read, and more deadlines to be met.
I was attempting to do everything simultaneously. I was left burned out and making errors.
Working harder is not all about time management. It is concerning doing the right things. It has to do with the ability to distinguish what is urgent and what is important.
The trap of the “urgent”
We are spending our days putting out fires. A client presents a crisis when calling, but it has been a very minor problem. A pop-up email appears and requires an urgent response.
These things feel urgent. But they are not usually significant to your long-term objectives or to your biggest cases.
Good lawyers learn how to be selective. They address the large and challenging tasks initially. They also set aside time to do deep work, when they do not look at email.
They also know how to say no. You cannot take every case. It is impossible to be present at every meeting. You must guard your time to enable you to concentrate on the task that is of benefit to your clients.
I use a simple system. In the morning, I wrote a list of three things that I needed to do on the day. I never touch anything else until those three things have been done. It is easy to say, but it transformed my professional life.
6. Empathy: The Human Connection
Lawyers have a bad stereotype that they are cold and unfeeling. However, in my case, the most successful lawyers are very empathetic.
Empathy is not the same as sympathy. Sympathy is being bad about somebody. Empathy is being empathetic to someone. It is the skill to be in the position of your client.
It is stressful that there are legal issues. Divorce, a criminal accusation, or a lawsuit may be the most awful thing that has happened to an individual.
When you make a case another file on your desk, your client is going to feel it. They will feel like a number.
Building trust through empathy
One of the cases related to my past professional experience involved a small business owner sued by a big corporation. His savings were running out due to legal fees. He was scared of being deprived of his home.
A good lawyer would have simply concentrated on the legal defense. But I made time to inquire how he was doing. I asked about his family. I let him vent his fears.
I told him, “I know this is scary. We will do all we can to save you.
It was a big difference in that little bit of connection. He trusted me. He was more cooperative. And when we finally got the case closed, he sent me three other clients.
Individuals would like to conduct business with people they like and trust. Empathy builds that trust. It transforms an exchange into a contact.
7. Confidence Without Arrogance
Confidence and arrogance are thin line differences.
Clients desire a lawyer who is confident. They would like to know that you are able to deal with their problem. They desire to be secure in your hands.
But they do not desire an arrogant lawyer. They do not desire an individual who speaks to them in a degrading manner and behaves as a superior.
This is what I was taught by one of my mentors. She became one of the best litigators in the state. In court, she was fierce. She commanded the room.
However, when she was in the presence of clients, she was meek. She listened. She confessed when she did not know how to answer something. She would reply, I do not know that, I will discover for you.
Honesty builds credibility
The ability to say that you do not know something is a confident step. It shows that you are honest. It demonstrates that you are less interested in appearing smart and more concerned with getting the correct answer.
Boastful attorneys make empty promises. They are assuring clients that they will win.
Good lawyers are not deceptive regarding the dangers. They manage expectations. They state, “I believe that we have an excellent case, but here are the dangers.
Such integrity creates credibility over the long run. When you promise a win and a loss, you lose a client forever. In case you are sincere about the risks and losses, the client can still appreciate you for giving effort and being honest.
Conclusion
The legal profession is evolving. Legal research can be carried out by artificial intelligence. Basic contracts can be drafted using software.
However, the computers are not able to sympathize with a mourning widow. They are not able to read the hesitation in the voice of a witness. They are unable to distract a panicked client with a word of encouragement.
These are soft skills that are a competitive advantage. They are what machines cannot do.
Whether the beginning of your legal career or in your years of practice, check your interaction with others. Are you listening? Are you empathetic? Do you speak understandably?
Focus on these skills. These are what make the difference between the good and the great lawyers. They are the ones that will make your name, your practice, and eventually, your success.
I also write regularly on Medium. If you’d like to explore more of my work, you can read my articles there.
